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Thread: On My Way Up...

  1. #1
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    On My Way Up...

    On my way up I saw...

    Friends become enemies, over bottles of Hennessey
    Enemies turn to friends, over bottles of Gin
    Then friends become lovers, cause they didn`t use a rubber
    Or lovers that hate eachother, cause one met a perfect 10
    Then perfect became imperfect, kept to self and felt deserted
    Insecure, it made her nervous, now she`s pullin` the pin
    Then pens write good byes, suicide notes and cries
    Cuz no matter what he tried, she fell in love with his friend
    I seen murderers rape and kill, over crooked drug deals
    Thinkin` a hundred dollar bill, was worth your next of kin
    Then innocent bystanders, catch bullets in front of cameras
    When asked why, we would answer: Cuz Jihad is a sin
    Then planes fly into towers, guided by a higher power
    Sharin` similar traits to ours, it`s all part of the end
    Then endings became the start of depression, creatin` art
    Painted over a breakin` heart, cause we`re too prideful to bend

    On my way up I saw...

    Smiles turn into cries, the truth turn into lies
    As ears become our eyes, to see the silence within
    Then silence turn into pain, as anger re-lit the flame
    Knowin` they`re both the same, we still try to pretend
    Then daughters without a mother, to tuck `em under the covers
    And let her know that they love her, whenever she needs a friend
    Then sons without a father, deadbeat or didn`t bother
    That made it a lot harder, still they grew into men
    Then children give birth to child, before they even learned to smile
    Then sit and wait a while, just to do it again
    Then people show interest in, this black man in the election
    No longer was it a question, cuz Obama will win!
    I`ve also seen beautiful things, like freedom and birds sing
    Oppurtunity knock AND RING, but I`ll save that for when
    Cause really, how does it sound after ugly? Can`t make you proud
    So I`m turnin` back around, I`m goin` to talk to him

    ...And let him know what I see on my way down

    A.i

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  2. #2
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    A.i

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  3. #3
    Newbie XxDreamShattererxX's Avatar
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    Re: On My Way Up...

    real shit right there nice drop check mine

  4. #4
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    Re: On My Way Up...

    Damn this was well written. I really liked the flow of this piece..the schematics were perfect...it really rolled off the tongue well..The piece itself held so much truth and was very relateable...the emotion and reality factors of this piece is what really seemed to stand out...you took a simple approach and executed it with pure emotion..and it was like the arrangement of details really helped the story as I read on..from beginning to end i was wanted to know what the next line contained....I think this would make for a dope part 2...s'why i think you ended it like that and if that's the case i'd like to collab for a on my way down...all in all this was solid shit..my dude..great shit...NOM'd.

  5. #5
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    Re: On My Way Up...

    Thank for peepin` N.

    A.i

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  6. #6
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    Re: On My Way Up...

    that was fuckin nasty man


    very nicely written and deep

  7. #7
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    Re: On My Way Up...


  8. #8
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    Re: On My Way Up...

    great job! I like how you broke the mold with the om. The scheme was beautiful! I could envision this in spoken word format. This is on some def poetry stuff! The comparisons were great and the writing seemed like it was done with ease. The simplicity of this is what makes it great. It reads easy, but it says a lot at the same time. I think that's what great writers can do. Be completely relevant and deep in meaning without sounding like they are thumbing through a rhyming dictionary and thesaurous to "prove" how intellectual they are. Great stuff man!

    Please hit up my piece
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...15#post6806315
    Last edited by djb; January 10th, 2009 at 02:25 AM
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  9. #9
    Mister. Andrew..'s Avatar
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    Re: On My Way Up...

    Very goodd. I was caught from the beginningcause the first line just caught me with the talk of alcohol and friends and enemies. The flow was very good which made this such an easy read and so easy to enjoy. I culd read this over and over again personally. I liked how you threw current evets in there with Obama. Very well done.
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